Boybands, Kastraten, Behinderte und Bescheuerte

Glasgow, yet again. A NME-Awards show. We stand in the queue, with us lots of children, they barely reach my waist, and are clad like on a children’s birthday too, after the cake got smeared everywhere. That’s how I persuaded my companion to come here too: The concert tonight would be like a children’s birthday on LSD. We are to see CSS and The Mystery Jets at ABC.

First Band, they shouldn‘t have the right to exist on earth, Team Waterpolo, a boy band plagiarising wildly through the eighties and anything that was of name in the last two years, and doing so badly. Apparently, they were discovered through the myspacewhore and the music industry loves them, we don‘t. Next band, pleeeeeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaseeeeee!!!

Second Band, at the comedy club, a castrato moving like a chicken and looking like a fat evil lesbian, or, as people behind us put it, the band are like The Scissors Sisters without the lesbians. They are the Wild Beasts, and even before they come in they are a joke: A deep voice in the off narrates of something or other, and you half expect Spinal Tap’s mini-Stonehenge to come down on the stage. Instead, said high voiced singer comes in, and we are amused.

Third band, at last, The Mystery Jets! Sirens sound, darkness becomes light, in hobbles singer and band. At first, I‘m actually overwhelmed by the stage lightning, it still amazes naive me…they start to play and goosebumps start building. People start moving, nodding heads, raised arms, it starts to feel like a real concert. And Mystery Jets make it a damned good one, justify everything, from the kids to the bad music in between bands (Spice Girls????) to the high price to the short time they actually play. A chaos of juxtapositions, harmonies, of contrasting and matching influences, they sound messy and anarchic whilst being mesmerisingly tight. The songs are difficult at the same time as being accessible. The performance is light-hearted yet madly intense. Every corner of every song is stuffed with something exciting and refreshing. We will remember.

Fourth band, last band, aerobics for the evening, weirdoesses to boost anyone near them with energy. Cansei de ser sexy. Stage hot and ready, power pop six-some CSS trip on to the stage, with lead singer, the bouncingly hyperactive Lovefoxx dressed up in balloons and other colourful stuff, jumping, bouncing, hopping like a flea at the high jump Olympics. What they play is arguably just bland album fluff, nothing you can spend torturing your brain about, but the way they present it, full of energy, a wonderfully entertaining live act, makes them highly likeable even to people who don‘t exactly like ‚that kind of music‘. Some are real fans though, and soon bras (! when was the last time that happened? Elvis?) are flying on the stage, as well as hats and other pieces not discernible. The band made up of quite a lot of good looking women ( with a guest dancer accidentally stripping her boobs) have their fun with it and in exchange gift the audience with Frisbees and water. By now, it seems like every single hand is waving in the air, following lead singer instructions of aerobics, screaming out choruses and groans. We lose hold and get lost in the madwomen carnival of happy happy hoppy hoppy bouncey bouncey.


1 Antwort auf „Boybands, Kastraten, Behinderte und Bescheuerte“


  1. 1 blackjackundnutten 27. Februar 2008 um 17:12 Uhr

    auch will. du doofe.

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